Problem of Intimacy

What I am about to share, may ruffle some feathers... I by no means post this to offend anyone… but rather share what I believe. I have had an opportunity to study research based articles and studies done on this topic for my class. If you would like to access the sources as well, please let me know.

The question is… are people who claim to have a gay identity, born that way? I believe that the answer is no. You see, perceptions are powerful.

Let me explain…

It all begins with Bio Varience. Children are born different. Take a minute to watch young children or infants, they are different from the beginning. I mean, the world would be very boring if we were all the same.

We then develop and begin to play, and make friendship preferences. About this time some may begin to realize that they are different from their peers. These social experiences provide opportunities to see their differences.

Typically around the age of 11 or 12 children desire to be intimate (close to, belong to) with their own gender-Maybe a young boy has attachment problems with his father, or just can’t seem to “fit” in with the boys at school.

Somewhere along the line this desire to be intimate becomes sexualized. Sadly, some young boys are molested in their early years. They are confused because they like feeling close to another man. I will not delve into this portion-but during this process the person begins to draw conclusions from their past perceptions. When they have these experiences they become confused about how they should feel.

With these past perceptions and their desire to be intimate with their own gender becoming sexualized, the person then claims a Gay Identity.

In a way, I feel that being “Gay” becomes a solution or answer for being different. I do not like the word Gay because it gives someone a different identity, and words have influence. Biologically, we are not meant to be with our own gender. The power to create life is through a man and  a woman.

I hope that this post is in no way offensive, I in discovering all of this felt ashamed of myself.  You see we as a society are quick to label others as “Gay”. Maybe if we meet a man who is more fashion-oriented or sensitive… we in the back of our head “wonder.” Upon learning that some of my friends have changed their gender preference I have been guilty of thinking, “Hmmm… I could see that coming.” The error in this is we are alienating those who are different even more. We are feeding the fire. We need to stop ostracizing those who are different from what we view is “typical”; we need to stop isolating them.