Blended Families

Have you ever seen the movie "Yours, Mine, and Ours?" it is a story of a blended family. Children from two different households living under one roof. That can be an equation for craziness! The thing is though, it actually isn't even that uncommon these days. Did you know that most children in the United States, 60%, will spend some of their life living with someone other than both of their biological parents. There are many families whose parents are separated because of divorce, death, or some other reason. These families may be combined for many different reasons like, death in the family, divorce, etc....

Combining these families will take major effort and coordination from all members of the family. 

To help this transition be smooth parents must be constantly communicating with one another. Parenting styles must be addressed. They must be on the same page of how they will encounter problematic situations. Also, as a family all must be sensitive and patient to the needs and feelings of others. Though it might be a crazy journey, forming a blended family is not an impossible one. Love, empathy, and communication are the key to success. 

Parenting

There are many different styles of parenting.  These different styles can come from our different backgrounds, upbringings, and personalities. We may not know how to respond in a situation so we react how our parents did.

I could spend a lot of time focusing on what each parent style is, what effects it has on children, etc... but I believe that above all is love. No one is perfect. There are no perfect parents! We might not have all the answers, or all of the strategies... but what we can do is love our children. We can recognize that the almighty being, is the Father of all. He is perfect in His wisdom. He loves the children more than we can imagine, if we turn to Him in humble prayer, He will guide us and show us how to be the best parents for our children.

Our Heavenly Father has shown an example of how we can parent our children. Look to Him. 

Mind for a Mop?

I have really enjoyed reading these two articles:

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865587127/A-womans-education-is-not-wasted-in-the-home.html?pg=all

http://www.dennisprager.com/does-a-full-time-homemaker-swap-her-mind-for-a-mop/

I really enjoyed reading these articles, because this was a topic that I have thought a lot about as I have considered obtaining a Master's Degree. I agree with both articles. Having a full-time parent benefits the child. The more educated a woman is, the more beneficial that she can be to her child. She has so many skills and insights to pull from. I also really enjoyed reading that a mother should continue to stimulate her mind. She should read and study, keep current with the news. This helps her to progress and helps to benefit the children as well. I really liked reading this because I no longer feel "guilty" for wanting to pursue more school, because even if I do not become involved in the professional career, my knowledge and skills will benefit my future family.

Inspired Pattern of Counsel

In the post before, I mentioned that families always have and always will encounter crisis. The fact of the matter is, we each individually handle situations differently. Especially men and women. Because of these differences,  a lot of misunderstanding can be created. There is a way to solve this.

We must counsel together with our spouses. In our church, we are led by the Prophet, his counselors and the 12 Apostles. Under the direction of God, they lead His church. That is 15 people. 15 men who are all seeking the will of God. How do they do it? Each week they counsel together. The pattern they use in their counsels can be a pattern that each married couple should follow. It is inspired.

The Presidency of the Church

I felt that I should include some key components of this pattern of counseling. First, begin showing love and appreciation for one another. This will create an atmosphere of openness, and love. Second, the leaders of the church meet in a sacred place every Thursday, ( the temple). Find a place to counsel together, your home can be that sacred special place. Third, find a time each week to counsel with one another., Make it a priority, have an agenda of the things that and matters that you will discuss. My advice is to open and close with a prayer, to invite the Spirit's guidance. Lastly, end with a treat, or something! Make it an enjoyable experience for both of you.

As a missionary each week, we did something called Companionship Inventory each week. This was a time to discuss together. I found that it was a great way to understand my companion better, and to work together more efficiently. I know that this pattern of counseling is inspired and it will benefit the family greatly. 

Family Crisis

The car broke down, your Father is ill, you just learned that your child has a serious illness... Crisis. Trials, struggles. They come big and they come small. The fact of the matter is that all families will at some point face a crisis. There will always be stress, there will always be problems. To me through these struggles we must find purpose. We must work together as a family rather than fall apart.

My family has encountered many "trials" or times of crisis. Through these hard times we have found strength and purpose in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Above is a video that I feel depicts this perfectly. May we ever grow closer to God and to our families during the difficult times. 

Teaching Children about Intimacy

It seems like children are learning things earlier than ever before. For example, a 7 yr old family friend came home from school and asked, "Dad, what is sex? A boy at school said he wants to have sex with me?" What do we do? If we don't teach our children then someone will. It may be uncomfortable to approach these subjects, but it needs to be done. We must though keep it age appropriate for the individual child of course.

Below is a link of a section of a handbook that the church has created, called "A Parent's Guide" 

https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide/chapter-1-intimacy-and-the-purposes-of-earthly-families?lang=eng
Read here to gain more insight about teaching your children about these important matters.

Marriage

Recently I have read an article and I thought that it was very interesting. Here is a link if you are interested in reading it. http://www.dennisprager.com/why-a-good-person-can-vote-against-same-sex-marriage/

I would like to highlight some interesting statements from this article:

"The major reason is this: Gender increasingly no longer matters. There is a fierce battle taking place to render meaningless the man-woman distinction, the most important distinction regarding human beings’ personal identity. Nothing would accomplish this as much as same-sex marriage."

"By redefining marriage to include same sex couples we are playing with sexual and societal fire. Just as the entitlement state passes on the cost of our good intentions to our children and grandchildren – unsustainable dependency and debt — so, too, same-sex marriage will pass along the consequences of our good intentions to our children and grandchildren – gender confusion and the loss of motherhood and fatherhood as values, just to cite two obvious consequences."

I believe that this article supports the doctrine in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. It states, "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

"THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

The fact is, gender matters. Marriage should be defined. From the beginning it has been, but we as society are trying to change it. There is danger in eliminating gender differences.