Marriage

Recently I have read an article and I thought that it was very interesting. Here is a link if you are interested in reading it. http://www.dennisprager.com/why-a-good-person-can-vote-against-same-sex-marriage/

I would like to highlight some interesting statements from this article:

"The major reason is this: Gender increasingly no longer matters. There is a fierce battle taking place to render meaningless the man-woman distinction, the most important distinction regarding human beings’ personal identity. Nothing would accomplish this as much as same-sex marriage."

"By redefining marriage to include same sex couples we are playing with sexual and societal fire. Just as the entitlement state passes on the cost of our good intentions to our children and grandchildren – unsustainable dependency and debt — so, too, same-sex marriage will pass along the consequences of our good intentions to our children and grandchildren – gender confusion and the loss of motherhood and fatherhood as values, just to cite two obvious consequences."

I believe that this article supports the doctrine in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. It states, "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

"THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

The fact is, gender matters. Marriage should be defined. From the beginning it has been, but we as society are trying to change it. There is danger in eliminating gender differences. 

Dating

Being 23 and attending BYU-Idaho, I get the question, “Are you dating anyone?” quite frequently.Dating is annoying. I don’t even know what it is anymore. I learned something in class this past week that I really enjoyed. It is called the 3 P’s of Dating.

They are:

Paid for

Planned

Paired off

In, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” it states that a father’s role is to protect, preside, and provide. Take a look at this correlation.

Paid for---Provide

Planned--Preside

Paired off--Protect

I had never made this connection before. You marry who you date. Dating provides experience to prepare for the roles that both women and men have within the family. Dating also gives us an indicator about how a person will fulfill their role in a marriage.

Problem of Intimacy

What I am about to share, may ruffle some feathers... I by no means post this to offend anyone… but rather share what I believe. I have had an opportunity to study research based articles and studies done on this topic for my class. If you would like to access the sources as well, please let me know.

The question is… are people who claim to have a gay identity, born that way? I believe that the answer is no. You see, perceptions are powerful.

Let me explain…

It all begins with Bio Varience. Children are born different. Take a minute to watch young children or infants, they are different from the beginning. I mean, the world would be very boring if we were all the same.

We then develop and begin to play, and make friendship preferences. About this time some may begin to realize that they are different from their peers. These social experiences provide opportunities to see their differences.

Typically around the age of 11 or 12 children desire to be intimate (close to, belong to) with their own gender-Maybe a young boy has attachment problems with his father, or just can’t seem to “fit” in with the boys at school.

Somewhere along the line this desire to be intimate becomes sexualized. Sadly, some young boys are molested in their early years. They are confused because they like feeling close to another man. I will not delve into this portion-but during this process the person begins to draw conclusions from their past perceptions. When they have these experiences they become confused about how they should feel.

With these past perceptions and their desire to be intimate with their own gender becoming sexualized, the person then claims a Gay Identity.

In a way, I feel that being “Gay” becomes a solution or answer for being different. I do not like the word Gay because it gives someone a different identity, and words have influence. Biologically, we are not meant to be with our own gender. The power to create life is through a man and  a woman.

I hope that this post is in no way offensive, I in discovering all of this felt ashamed of myself.  You see we as a society are quick to label others as “Gay”. Maybe if we meet a man who is more fashion-oriented or sensitive… we in the back of our head “wonder.” Upon learning that some of my friends have changed their gender preference I have been guilty of thinking, “Hmmm… I could see that coming.” The error in this is we are alienating those who are different even more. We are feeding the fire. We need to stop ostracizing those who are different from what we view is “typical”; we need to stop isolating them.  

Communication

• Have you ever seen a couple who ever have their children smack dab in the middle of them all of the time?
• Have you ever seen a child clinging over their mother and distant from their father?
• In times of sickness or emergency have you ever seen the mother with the child in the Doctor's office and the father is no where to be found?

Men and women react to situations differently. Many times this can cause problems within the family. Mom may think that in times of distress the father doesn't care. Dad might be worried sick in reality, but finds that the only thing he can do to help would be to get the car keys and get them to the doctor quickly or stay at work because he is not "needed." The child may think that only the mother cares for them. 

All of these misconceptions and confusions can be cleared up with communication. People are different and react different, but through communication we are able to understand "why" people do the things they do. Communicate, it is key! Break down the barriers by being close to your family. Sit by your spouse. Fathers, embrace your children. Communicate and show your love for your family.

“So the whole war is because we can't talk to each other.” 
― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

― Henry Winkler

“To love someone with all of your heart requires reaching them where they are with the only words they can understand.” 
― Shannon L. Alder